Dec. 6th, 2014

osmie: (Bowler)
to the tune of "Tell Her about It"

This is another pretty good one. )

Volume Six is around where the series gets frustrating, and I start recommending people skip ahead. This is even more true thematically: the character flaws which first become apparent in Volume Six turn out to be the subject of the epiphany which resolves the entire plot in Volume Fourteen. Those last nine books might have made quite a good trilogy.
osmie: (Bowler)
On finishing Winter's Heart, I didn't even know how to filk it.

My inner filk voice wanted to do Journey: "Trudging beside you, here in the snow…." Give each verse a subplot, make each chorus about the act of reading this series, and finish, "Passing the time, with a thick volume nine, Winter's Heart." Done and done.

But [I wrote], yegods, Robert Jordan. This isn't so much a novel as a checklist of how many queens — in the royalty sense — you can depict naked. I counted seven: three reigning queens, one ex-queen, and three characters who aren't queens yet but (with varying degrees of foreshadowing) are certainly going to be. Your three main male characters are swiving their way through the royal families of every nation on your fictitious planet — and it's never their own doing, oh goodness no; it's just that they happen to be sexually irresistible, and powerful women have needs, you know.

You're a talented writer — talented enough that I'm still here, still reading, and still enjoying myself, even as I feel my critical faculties turning to carrot juice. But I cannot filk your book without acknowledging how ridiculous your queen-stripping habit has become. And I don't even have a tune in mind.

So I tried. )

Maybe I was getting somewhere. But that's all the energy I had for such a crappy book. Seriously, friend, I can see why you might want to subject yourself to volume 6, and I can even imagine wanting to skim volumes 7 and 8, but save yourself from the nadir which is volumes 9 and 10.
osmie: (Bowler)
to the tune of "New Moon on Monday"

Ahem. )

If you're ploughing through the series, you can meaningfully read the prequel anytime after book 1, and before book 11. Personally I would recommend right after book 5.

Conveniently, this is also the point at which I recommend people start skipping. By all means begin book 6, but be aware that the writing only gets worse for five books. The moment your interest flags, put down the current volume and skip to Knife of Dreams.


osmie: (Default)
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