osmie: (Bowler)
[personal profile] osmie
to the tune of "Rainbow Connection"

Why are there so many books in this series?
And what happens in book ten?
Characters wander
And slowly they ponder
The plot of the ninth book again.

Cadsuane wonders if Rand was successful;
Perrin keeps looking for Faile.
Sadly they’ve lost it,
The Crossroads of Twilight,
The plotline, the story, the tale.

Who said that every book
Would make something happen
When boiling its torrid pot?
This one has characters,
Synopsis and setting,
But only a page of plot.

Mat keeps on wooing; Egwene keeps on waiting;
And none of the bad guys are dead.
Sadly they’ve lost it,
The Crossroads of Twilight,
The plotline, the story, the thread.

Hundreds of character names,
We know that they might be important…

Have you been half asleep,
And jerked awake quickly,
And read the same paragraph twice?
How would you know, when
In every damned chapter,
There’s Mat spinning ta’veren dice?

Over in Caemlyn, Elayne isn’t queen yet,
‘Cause no one is there to anoint.
Sadly they’ve lost it,
The Crossroads of Twilight,
The plotline, the story, the point.

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