Superuser!

Apr. 11th, 2016 10:05 am
osmie: (Bowler)
Superuser!
When the dev site core dumps in a crash,
And without a hack, the LAMP won't stack,
But the only bug fix is in bash—
Superuser!
When your sendmail's selling someone's spam,
Your Apache logs have /dev/null clogged,
And you've got no entropy in rand()—

We can't fix the server with clicks
'Cause the sys we admin is a *nix,
And when we have no clue,
And don't know what to do,
We're only saying
Give me your root, superuser—
Superuser, S-U
-P-E-R-U-S-Er, Superuuuuuuuser!
osmie: (Bowler)
to the tune of "New Moon on Monday"

Ahem. )


If you're ploughing through the series, you can meaningfully read the prequel anytime after book 1, and before book 11. Personally I would recommend right after book 5.

Conveniently, this is also the point at which I recommend people start skipping. By all means begin book 6, but be aware that the writing only gets worse for five books. The moment your interest flags, put down the current volume and skip to Knife of Dreams.
osmie: (Bowler)
On finishing Winter's Heart, I didn't even know how to filk it.

My inner filk voice wanted to do Journey: "Trudging beside you, here in the snow…." Give each verse a subplot, make each chorus about the act of reading this series, and finish, "Passing the time, with a thick volume nine, Winter's Heart." Done and done.

But [I wrote], yegods, Robert Jordan. This isn't so much a novel as a checklist of how many queens — in the royalty sense — you can depict naked. I counted seven: three reigning queens, one ex-queen, and three characters who aren't queens yet but (with varying degrees of foreshadowing) are certainly going to be. Your three main male characters are swiving their way through the royal families of every nation on your fictitious planet — and it's never their own doing, oh goodness no; it's just that they happen to be sexually irresistible, and powerful women have needs, you know.

You're a talented writer — talented enough that I'm still here, still reading, and still enjoying myself, even as I feel my critical faculties turning to carrot juice. But I cannot filk your book without acknowledging how ridiculous your queen-stripping habit has become. And I don't even have a tune in mind.

So I tried. )

Maybe I was getting somewhere. But that's all the energy I had for such a crappy book. Seriously, friend, I can see why you might want to subject yourself to volume 6, and I can even imagine wanting to skim volumes 7 and 8, but save yourself from the nadir which is volumes 9 and 10.
osmie: (Bowler)
to the tune of "Tell Her about It"

This is another pretty good one. )




Volume Six is around where the series gets frustrating, and I start recommending people skip ahead. This is even more true thematically: the character flaws which first become apparent in Volume Six turn out to be the subject of the epiphany which resolves the entire plot in Volume Fourteen. Those last nine books might have made quite a good trilogy.
osmie: (Bowler)
Here’s Never Cry Wolf
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Jolly good, Never Cry Wolf,
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Here’s the loner, the ennui, the journey, the Yukon,
The wilderness and the brown wolf.
Here’s a book, a book by the Farley Mowat.

Here’s A Whale for the Killing
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Jolly good, Whale for the Killing,
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Here’s the moral, the loner, the ennui, the journey, the Yukon,
The wilderness and the brown wolf.
Here’s a book, a book by the Farley Mowat.

Here’s Sea of Slaughter
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Jolly good, Sea of Slaughter,
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Here’s the whales, the moral,
The loner, the ennui, the journey, the Yukon,
The wilderness and the brown wolf.
Here’s a book, a book by the Farley Mowat.

Here’s The Curse of the Viking Grave
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Jolly good, Curse of the Viking Grave,
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Here’s the Viking, the whales, the moral,
The loner, the ennui, the journey, the Yukon,
The wilderness and the brown wolf.
Here’s a book, a book by the Farley Mowat.

Here’s Owls in the Family
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Jolly good, Owls in the Family,
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Here’s the angst, the Viking, the whales, the moral,
The loner, the ennui, the journey, the Yukon,
The wilderness and the brown wolf.
Here’s a book, a book by the Farley Mowat.

Here’s Canada North Now
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Jolly good, Canada North Now,
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Here’s the winter, the angst, the Viking, the whales, the moral,
The loner, the ennui, the journey, the Yukon,
The wilderness and the brown wolf.
Here’s a book, a book by the Farley Mowat.

Here’s The Siberians
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Jolly good, Siberians,
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Here’s the arctic, the winter,
The angst, the Viking, the whales, the moral,
The loner, the ennui, the journey, the Yukon,
The wilderness and the brown wolf.
Here’s a book, a book by the Farley Mowat.

Here’s The Dog Who Wouldn’t Be
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Jolly good, Dog Who Wouldn’t Be,
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Here’s the dog, the arctic, the winter,
The angst, the Viking, the whales, the moral,
The loner, the ennui, the journey, the Yukon,
The wilderness and the brown wolf.
Here’s a book, a book by the Farley Mowat.

Here’s Born Naked
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Jolly good, Born Naked,
a book by the Farley Mowat.
Here’s young Farley by dog to the arctic in winter,
Where angst-ridden Vikings eat whalemeat immorally,
Loners and ennui and baths in the Yukon,
The wilderness and the brown wolf.
Here’s a book, a book by the Farley Mowat.
osmie: (Default)
…and bit me with the tune from Shenandoah:
O Hall & Oates, I long to see you
For one last reunion concert
O Hall & Oates, I long to hear you
So play, record and play
Your eighties Motown music
osmie: (Default)
Oh, we're packing and we're moving,
And I wonder what we're proving
When I haven't slept a peaceful night in weeks.
And my half-destroyed apartment
Has disturbed my cats' deportment--
They're pissing in the garbage can, at least.
And every box that I can muster
Fills so quickly full of clutter
While the tiny tinny speaker tries to play,
And I don't expect a big surprise
From the house or the yard or the space inside,
But I just can't wait to run and hide
Since we got our mortgage notarized
For closing day.

Yeah, I don't expect a big surprise
From the house or the yard or the space inside
Where I just can't wait to run and hide
Since we got our mortgage notarized
For closing day.

Oh, the clock is ticking midnight
And I'm waiting for an insight
That'll spur me into toss-and-turning bed.
And I know I should be going
'Cause my frontal lobe is slowing,
But I'm filking Leonard Cohen songs instead.
So I spend another hour
And defend the desktop tower;
I'm the queen of all the boxes I survey.
And I swear I could procrastinate
An hour, a week, a steady state...
The movers come in forty-eight.
October wouldn't be too late
For closing day.

Yes, I swear I could procrastinate
An hour, a week, a steady state...
The movers come in forty-eight.
October wouldn't be too late
For closing day.

I liked it on the website,
So I took a detour late one night
And gasped at such an ugly shade of blue--
And I wouldn't have gone back at all
If my roommate hadn't made the call,
Declaring (declaring!) declaring its interior would do.
And we loved the place when we saw it next,
So we bought it for a pile of debt,
And now there's nothing left to do but pay.
And I guess I'm glad the deal was set,
But I'm scared enough to fuss and fret.
I feel like a grown-up but I can't be yet--
I'm only thirty-nine! I bet
It's closing day.

Yeah, I guess I'm glad the deal was set,
But I'm scared enough to fuss and fret.
I feel like a grown-up but I can't be yet--
I'm only thirty-nine except
On closing day.

Yeah, we're packing and we're moving,
And the hour is behooving me
To get myself some sleep before I croak,
And my half-destroyed apartment
Will be stored in neat compartments
By tomorrow, if a miracle can cope.
'Cause the offer's signed and the subjects gone
And the lawyers paid and the mortgage on
And the title changes ownership today.
Or so I'm told, and I guess it's true,
And I'll soon have a house to replace this zoo,
But it really is an awful hue
Of greenish bathroom cleanser blue
(Greenish bathroom cleanser blue!)
On closing day.

And I don't expect a big surprise
From the house or the yard or the space inside
On closing day...
But I just can't wait to run and hide
Since we got our mortgage notarized
For closing day...

And I swear I could procrastinate
An hour, a week, a steady state,
On closing day...
The movers come in forty-eight.
October wouldn't be too late
For closing day...

And we loved the place when we saw it next,
So we bought it for a pile of debt
On closing day...
And I guess I'm glad the deal was set,
But I'm scared enough to fuss and fret
On closing day...
osmie: (Default)
Oh, we're packing and we're moving,
And I wonder what we're proving
When I haven't slept a peaceful night in weeks.
And my half-destroyed apartment
Has disturbed my cats' deportment--
They're pissing in the garbage can, at least.
And every box that I can muster
Fills so quickly full of clutter
While the tiny tinny speaker tries to play,
And I don't expect a big surprise
From the house or the yard or the space inside,
But I just can't wait to run and hide
Since we got our mortgage notarized
For closing day.

Yeah, I don't expect a big surprise
From the house or the yard or the space inside
Where I just can't wait to run and hide
Since we got our mortgage notarized
For closing day.

Oh, the clock is ticking midnight
And I'm waiting for an insight
That'll spur me into toss-and-turning bed.
And I know I should be going
'Cause my frontal lobe is slowing,
But I'm filking Leonard Cohen songs instead.
So I spend another hour
And defend the desktop tower;
I'm the queen of all the boxes I survey.
And I swear I could procrastinate
An hour, a week, a steady state...
The movers come in forty-eight.
October wouldn't be too late
For closing day.

Yes, I swear I could procrastinate
An hour, a week, a steady state...
The movers come in forty-eight.
October wouldn't be too late
For closing day.

I liked it on the website,
So I took a detour late one night
And gasped at such an ugly shade of blue--
And I wouldn't have gone back at all
If my roommate hadn't made the call,
Declaring (declaring!) declaring its interior would do.
And we loved the place when we saw it next,
So we bought it for a pile of debt,
And now there's nothing left to do but pay.
And I guess I'm glad the deal was set,
But I'm scared enough to fuss and fret.
I feel like a grown-up but I can't be yet--
I'm only thirty-nine! I bet
It's closing day.

Yeah, I guess I'm glad the deal was set,
But I'm scared enough to fuss and fret.
I feel like a grown-up but I can't be yet--
I'm only thirty-nine except
On closing day.

Yeah, we're packing and we're moving,
And the hour is behooving me
To get myself some sleep before I croak,
And my half-destroyed apartment
Will be stored in neat compartments
By tomorrow, if a miracle can cope.
'Cause the offer's signed and the subjects gone
And the lawyers paid and the mortgage on
And the title changes ownership today.
Or so I'm told, and I guess it's true,
And I'll soon have a house to replace this zoo,
But it really is an awful hue
Of greenish bathroom cleanser blue
(Greenish bathroom cleanser blue!)
On closing day.

And I don't expect a big surprise
From the house or the yard or the space inside
On closing day...
But I just can't wait to run and hide
Since we got our mortgage notarized
For closing day...

And I swear I could procrastinate
An hour, a week, a steady state,
On closing day...
The movers come in forty-eight.
October wouldn't be too late
For closing day...

And we loved the place when we saw it next,
So we bought it for a pile of debt
On closing day...
And I guess I'm glad the deal was set,
But I'm scared enough to fuss and fret
On closing day...

Profile

osmie: (Default)
Osmium Penguin

April 2016

S M T W T F S
     12
345678 9
10 111213141516
171819202122 23
2425262728 2930

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags